What I Needed To Say

We are the game they play.
The old, overplayed game on the top shelf.
Flimsy cardboard unfit for a board game.
Ages ten and up.
Falling apart and dirty.
It’s on the shelf nobody can reach without a struggle.
Standing on your tip-toes on a chair is the only way.

We are the pieces,
Colorful slender and tall minions.
Obedient and stripped of free-will.
We do not understand
Why we do what we do,
Go where we go,
Say what we say.
We cannot rebel against the rules.
We simply cannot manipulate our way,
Cheating and backstabbing,
Until it is complete.
No, we are not cheaters.
Still, it consumes us.
Breaking our once-passionate spirits.
Our spirits that could once demolish the Great Wall of China,
Together.
No loophole can save us now.
The rules are far too precise to make mistakes.

This game is far too complex,
With its many twists and turns.
It’s overflowing with contradictory limitations.
Our chipping paint and slowly breaking bodies show
We are just as worn down as the game itself.
Overused.
Our plastic faces are melting away.
Limb by limb we are
Growing much too exhausted to proceed.
The fun of this game is growing sparse.
No longer can it shatter silence with laughter.
No longer can it peel away a frown.
No longer does it intrigue.
Now it only produces tears.
Frustration.
A game like this is sure to be in next year’s garage sale.
On the fake-oak table,
Two dollars or less if bargained with.
It is far too obsolete to keep.

And yet this game is our fixation.
Our loathed habit.
It’s time to abandon it,
Cold turkey.
It’s time to tell you: I finally quit.

A Time When My World Changed (final version)

I zip my zipper in the back of a red gown.
Its rough red material always gets stuck in the zipper.
I slide on my shimmering white gloves and feel as beautiful as a princess.
I float to your sunroom.
You have a tea party set up.
Me with water.
You with coffee.
We even have those little sandwiches.
Turkey and cheese, my favorite.
All was lost just so I would crack a smile through chapped lips.
These thoughts drown me later as I turn down your dinner invitation.
I am sorry.
I know you understand, you are too forgiving.

Remember when you surprised me Christmas morning that one year?
Daddy was too busy working.
We played that video game until it was shot.
I won every time.
And I remember how crazy I was.
With my obnoxious elephant lion song.
And my never-ending energy supply stored in my soul.
I thank you for putting up with me.
That must have taken so much out of you.

But this was all a few years ago.
I have grown more now.
I'm dating now.
And driving.
I'll even be getting a job soon.

Walking into that building that one day sent my
Stomach plummeting to the floor.
Sure, it seems so inviting with its homey look,
Warm colors, and bright patterns embedded in the furniture.
But it is the one thing that'll flip your world.
I am in my only dress, brown and stiff.
Combined with painful heels, flat and black.
I shuffle my way down the aisle.
Sitting down in the front row.
I glance up at your wedding picture framed on a pedestal.
Salty and sour, liquid escapes my tear ducts,
Down my rosy cheeks.
Slithering its way down until it reaches my dehydrated mouth,
Leaving a dreadful aftertaste I can't swallow away.
Still, it feels unsatisfied
And sends more to finish the job.

So you're asking me when my world changed?
Well, that's easy.
The day I lost my best friend.
My hero.
My grandmother.
Forever.